So basically I have feelings for my best friend, but due to past issues (relationships, abuse, family and the way I am overall) I couldn't talk to him about my feelings, I tried once and he said he was shocked I had feelings for him cause I didn't show any signs of liking him.
I couldn't fix my problem so nothing ever happened, I never said anything again and he assumed I stopped liking him so his feelings for me ended. I recently decided (half a year later from initially talking to him) that I was screwing things up by not talking to him and I wanted him badly and that I needed to fix my problem instead of feeding it. So my second attempt shocked him even more since he assumed that my feelings were gone and he told me that he doesn't feel romantic that way anymore and wishes I acted this way long ago, he said he wished he could feel the same but just simply can't force himself to...
Here's some conversation (from him) to give you an idea on how he's feeling:
you're practically my best friend.. at one point i felt more but now i don't want to give you false hopes
i just cant promise that ill feel that way towards you again
the worst is that i don't want you to ever end up hating me
i don't want to explain how it could have been different because there's nothing you can do about the past
id wish i have the same feelings for you again
since you're so awesome
but i guess i cant force it
it just doesn't work that way
for me
after all this time from apathetic to different
as in its nice to understand how you feel
but you did it wrong.. at the wrong time
you end up being alone in it
and it'll just hurt and scar you even more wouldn't it
i wish you'd behave this way a long time ago
right now i don't know what i can do with it
i shouldn't have to feel so bad for something that isn't my fault.. i've been around in all aspects
i don't feel romantic like that anymore
even though i feel even closer to you as a friend
after everything we've gone through
and i cant promise that ill feel romantic like that again
who knows what will happen in the future
we're friends anyway that's whats important
and no one can tell what will happen in the future
i hope you feel better
don't feel bad about this since we're comfortable around each other
by now i hope
you can talk about anything
as much as i know its hard.. even this is nothing for us since we're comfortable with each other
i hope you remember that
and be less afraid to talk about things
I'm trying my hardest to talk about how I feel now even though it's hard for me and I'm doing my best hoping his feelings will come back! Can they come back? I know he wants them but maybe it's not possible or not to that degree. I know my chances are slim, but what can I do, to fix the issue? Is there anything at all?
Comments (2)
Try spending time together... don't force the situation... and see how things turn out?
Good luck!
I feel you cause I have been there. Guess what, I think you are lucky because he's pretty honest with you. He told you how he feels overall conversation. He's mature enough and he's type of friend that worth to keep. But now. you just need to detach yourself from him .. cut all the ties for a while, until the emotional things are all gone before you pick up the friendship with him again. Stop trying, sorry to be harsh, you have confronted him twice and you got the same answer, he's very clear with what he wants .. Do yourself a favour, backoff and distance yourself from him. Accept the fact and move on .. [If you keep trying, you will end up in great pain, until the day you totally fed up and by that time you are the one who's willing to let go cause your heart can only take that much.] If you have no intention to give up, believe me, you'll put yourself in a loop ...you are gonna learn it in hard way ..
You should feel thankful he's blunt with you and have no intention to string you along until he met his love ones. My experience talk ..make a choice for yourself.
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