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Saturday, 07 March 2009

  • Currently
    Breaking the Habit
    By Linkin Park
    see related

    An ex from over 5 years ago is stalking me!

    Some background information, around 6 years ago I met a guy through a friend, it started out as calls, texting, and then he said he was moving away to Canada for studying and then it progressed to emails and we still called each other, also on messenger and we talked daily, he was practically my best friend.

    Fast forward almost two years I guess, he's in love with me and he wants me, he's coming over for holidays and wants us to meet up. We have one night together after which I never hear from him again. Fast forward a couple of months, I'm finding out that he lied about everything and that he was never in Canada, he's a pizza delivery boy and he got a girlfriend after me, which lasted some two years. :O

    Fast forward 5 years from the day I last saw him I'm getting a random add on my Facebook. The profile was so fake it was dead obvious, I knew something was wrong, I know a lot about the internet, people and all that stuff and being intelligent it was obvious something was up, so someone was stalking me?

    Weird thing, a month before that I get a call from another ex from maybe a little over 5 years before who wanted to apologize for being an asshole, I wonder if it's him, but then I realize that he would have just added me, no need to make a fake profile or something. Then I remember this ex and try and find him on Facebook. Nothing comes up, which is weird, I saw his profile once cause he was in the same network as me and I doubt he would have just removed it. I search on Google and find him. Could he have blocked me for some reason and possibly as a result of that he couldn't access my profile?

    I get a second invite from that weird person to add him again, being convinced it's my ex I send a nasty email to not add me and how dare he try and make a fake profile and so on. I add him again to check the profile one last time before blocking him and it says that the person added a JP and that's when I realize what happened. Up to then the person only added friends of mine and JP is a friend of a girl that likes my best friend. She sent me a nasty email once to stay away from him and so on because it's bothering her friend, things got sorted out and my best friend made her apologize. In that instant not even thinking I sent him a message that that girl is trying to hack my profile and that she made a stupid move by adding herself to it thus revealing herself as the culprit.

    In the meanwhile, I asked a friend to talk to the ex and find out why he's stalking me, he says the guy has always been stalking me and that he still has feelings for me and so on. That's when I realize that it was in fact the ex and he must have added a girl with the exact same name and I didn't even check it out properly I just went and accused the other girl.

    I tell my best friend that it's in fact the ex and that he shouldn't worry and I phone up another friend that added the person as well (I sent some friend suggestion invites out at the beginning since I was the persons only friend) and I ask him to access the profile for me since I blocked him. He sends me a screen shot of the page and it clearly shows her profile there, which confuses me. I wanted to see the page since I was curious who the other JP is and what a coincidence that the person added someone with no relation to me and it was a JP

    I contact the ex myself and he said he never made a Facebook profile like that and that he only ever asked about me and he can see my profile through his page, the other guy never asked him about Facebook, only why he was stalking me!

    For some reason, my best friend goes weird when I send him the screen shot saying it's not like her, she's too stupid and she would have told him and so on and then he gets pissed off thinking it's me and that I faked the picture and want to ruin whatever friendship he has with that girls friend. It's the first time we've had somewhat of an argument. He said if he finds out it's me later, he'll never forgive me! Oh the horror, it sounded so bad coming from him!

    Then he asked me something strange. Does your other friend who sent you the screen shot have any relation to your ex? That never occurred to me. They knew each other, not friendly like good buddies, but same circle of friends, I guess I could put it like that. The other guy's in Australia now though.
    What's the chance that my ex would make the guy fake a profile so that he's not the one to blame?

    I tell the 'friend' that my ex told me how it was photoshopped and he was sorry and so on (which was of course not true) but he was stupid enough to believe it and went on and on how it's not his fault, the ex sent him a screen shot to send to me as a favor he owed him. Do I believe him? Not anymore, I stopped trusting in people long ago.

    My friend was still a little skeptical at first but when I go meet the ex and things just get too complicated he realizes what's happening and I guess he stopped doubting. Now it's really complicated cause the ex won't leave me alone!

    I was over that one day at his work, I tried to sound nice on the phone like I know it's not him and he's changed in hopes that he wont be weird when I go there, I knew that if I sounded pissed off on the phone he'd probably be expecting that when I go over and who knows what someone as psychotioc as him can do.

    I try to act nice when I walk in, even though I have such urges to tell him such shit and hit him and allsorts of things. I can't believe that he thought I'd have even an ounce of forgiveness in me. He tried to kiss me and advance on me! That's when it kicked in and I hit him and wanted to kick him but tripped or something, well I kinda fell down! How retarded, I start yelling at him and how I'm gonna go to the police with what he did, and my friend walks in and he says how I don't have enough evidence that he did anything and I tell him that I know and that the other friend told me it was him and he gets pissed off and tells me that if I don't go to the police he will leave me alone and if I do.... So he basically threatened me!

    Now he wants to see me again, he's claiming I never told him to stay away from him or that I don't want to see him and that I just said I'd go to the cops and he says he needs to see me and I have to tell him in person that I don't want to see him again. I know it's probably just a trap for me to come see him and who knows what can happen. From the conversation he had with my friend, well from what I've seen, he wants me to see this new changed him and that when I see him I'll change my mind about how I feel towards him.

    I don't live in the US so my options aren't as nice. Restraining order is probably not possible, I'll see what kind of evidence I need for that.
    I feel terrible and now my best friends like 'If I was there he'd probably be dead by now' :| It's a long distance friendship and we're very close and he's freaking out as well and I don't know what to do now. I'm very lucky the ex doesn't have my number. I kept calling him on private number, he talks to my other friend who tells me what's happening. I think just to ignore him completely and hope that he doesn't start after me. (Hopefully he doesn't recall whereabouts I live) Guess I just need to cut off any methods he may find to contact me!

    I don't know if any of that made any sense just now, probably messed your brain up! Sorry!
  • Currently
    Wherever You Will Go
    By The Calling
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    How do I forget him?

    So as I mentioned earlier to sum it up I liked my best friend, he liked me and I had issues talking about my feelings so it never got anywhere and (I talked to him once about it and he was shocked but my inability to change from apathetic got me nowhere) when I finally managed to talk to him again he thought my feelings were gone and he said that he doesn't feel the same way anymore and is uncertain that he can.

    Things got complicated when I tried to be as open as I could about how I felt and then there was this other girl that was doing the same, and on his page I kept seeing her comments and then one day I talked to him about it and he said he didn't want to say anything to hurt me but to answer my question, yes he does like her.

    It hurt me, but I had to accept it, he has moved on, I messed things up.

    Another weird thing happened, the girls friend sent me a message saying how he doesn't like me the way he likes the other girl and that I should give up and blah blah being mean. He got very pissed off, and said that if the other girl was the one that had sent the message he would have stopped being in contact with her cause I'm more important.

    In the end the girl had to apologize to me and I sent her a message back basically saying that he's my best friend and I care and that I don't want more than a friendship now, he likes her (the friend) and that she better not screw up and make him even the slightest unhappy. The girl said ok.

    Now I feel so bad inside cause I want him but I know things will never be like that before, how do I forget these feelings I have for him? I told him that the only way I know I can is to stay away from him like not talk so much cause talking with him will just make it worse, he will keep saying things that make me want him even more. He said he hopes I don't leave him soon but he'll understand if I feel I have no choice, I told him I wouldn't, things would be so dull and boring without him around.

    I don't want to stop talking to him, but I want those feelings gone, and I don't want to see anyone else, I don't like the idea of dating. Have my cake and eat it too hah. He's the first guy I've liked in the past 2 years and I doubt it would be easy to just find someone else.

    Any suggestions?  and btw it's a long distance friendship but we talk daily!

Sunday, 22 February 2009

  • Currently
    Lines in My Face
    By Chronic Future
    I think you got ahead of me
    see related
    I have a normal Xanga which is Here, I just wanted some advice from other people which is why I made a Datingish account, I'm gonna continue using Xanga since it's more general and here it would have to be more dating based and I've been using my Xanga for quite a while now...
  • Currently
    Dark Light
    By H.I.M.
    Right Here In My Arms
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    How do I get him to like me again?

    So basically I have feelings for my best friend, but due to past issues (relationships, abuse, family and the way I am overall) I couldn't talk to him about my feelings, I tried once and he said he was shocked I had feelings for him cause I didn't show any signs of liking him.

    I couldn't fix my problem so nothing ever happened, I never said anything again and he assumed I stopped liking him so his feelings for me ended. I recently decided (half a year later from initially talking to him) that I was screwing things up by not talking to him and I wanted him badly and that I needed to fix my problem instead of feeding it. So my second attempt shocked him even more since he assumed that my feelings were gone and he told me that he doesn't feel romantic that way anymore and wishes I acted this way long ago, he said he wished he could feel the same but just simply can't force himself to...

    Here's some conversation (from him) to give you an idea on how he's feeling:

    you're practically my best friend.. at one point i felt more but now i don't want to give you false hopes
    i just cant promise that ill feel that way towards you again
    the worst is that i don't want you to ever end up hating me
    i don't want to explain how it could have been different because there's nothing you can do about the past
    id wish i have the same feelings for you again
    since you're so awesome
    but i guess i cant force it

    it just doesn't work that way
    for me
    after all this time from apathetic to different
    as in its nice to understand how you feel
    but you did it wrong.. at the wrong time
    you end up being alone in it
    and it'll just hurt and scar you even more wouldn't it
    i wish you'd behave this way a long time ago
    right now i don't know what i can do with it
    i shouldn't have to feel so bad for something that isn't my fault.. i've been around in all aspects
    i don't feel romantic like that anymore
    even though i feel even closer to you as a friend
    after everything we've gone through
    and i cant promise that ill feel romantic like that again
    who knows what will happen in the future
    we're friends anyway that's whats important
    and no one can tell what will happen in the future
    i hope you feel better
    don't feel bad about this since we're comfortable around each other
    by now i hope
    you can talk about anything
    as much as i know its hard.. even this is nothing for us since we're comfortable with each other
    i hope you remember that
    and be less afraid to talk about things


    I'm trying my hardest to talk about how I feel now even though it's hard for me and I'm doing my best hoping his feelings will come back! Can they come back? I know he wants them but maybe it's not possible or not to that degree. I know my chances are slim, but what can I do, to fix the issue? Is there anything at all?
  • Hi everyone! I'm just getting started on Datingish... Drop me a comment if you've got some ideas on what to do first - or just to say, "Hi!"

computerpunk41

  • Visit computerpunk41's Datingish Site
    • Member Since: 2/22/2009

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